A Case of Some Delicacy Read online

  A Case of Some Delicacy

  KC Kahler

  Copyright © 2019 by KC Kahler

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Edited by JL Ashton and Gail Warner

  Proofread by Linda D’Orazio

  Cover by Crowglass Design

  ISBN 978-1-951033-07-1 (ebook) and 978-1-951033-08-8 (paperback)

  In Memory of JanetR, this story’s biggest fan

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1. Pleasing Attentions

  Chapter 2. Excessively Diverted

  Chapter 3. Strange Bedfellows

  Chapter 4. The Silliest Girl in England

  Chapter 5. Unpleasant Truths

  Chapter 6. Making an Effort

  Chapter 7. Nick of Time

  Chapter 8. Charmingly Grouped

  Chapter 9. Every Bennet in the Country

  Chapter 10. Near and Dear at Netherfield

  Chapter 11. Correspondent’s Confession

  Chapter 12. High Animal Spirits

  Chapter 13. Deduction and Denial

  Chapter 14. Her Favourite Lucas

  Chapter 15. Depending Upon His Own Judgment

  Chapter 16. The Nature of Things

  Chapter 17. The Effect of the Meeting

  Chapter 18. A Most Determined Talker

  Chapter 19. A Fine Figure of a Man

  Chapter 20. Tolerably Encouraging

  Chapter 21. Finding Him Very Agreeable

  Chapter 22. Books in a Ballroom

  Chapter 23. Tormenting a Respectable Man

  Chapter 24. Like a Glove

  Chapter 25. A Faithful Narrative

  Chapter 26. Schemes of Felicity

  Chapter 27. Jealousy and Cowardice

  Chapter 28. Particularly Intimate

  Chapter 29. Once More into the Breach

  Chapter 30. The Fish She Lost

  Chapter 31. Disappointed Hopes

  Chapter 32. Saying as Little as Possible

  Chapter 33. Why is Not Everybody as Happy?

  Chapter 34. Misery of the Acutest Kind

  Chapter 35. A Report of a Most Alarming Nature

  Chapter 36. The Smallest Hope

  Chapter 37. When One Has a Motive

  Chapter 38. A Tale of Two Kisses

  Chapter 39. Discharging Debts

  Chapter 40. The Very Great Pleasure

  Chapter 41. The Silliest Girl in England, Part 2

  Chapter 42. Such a Conclusion to Such a Beginning

  About the Author

  Also by KC Kahler

  It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man distinguished by the patronage of the Right Honourable Lady Catherine de Bourgh must be in want of a wife.

  The Reverend William Collins, having offered an olive branch to his estranged family, arrived at their estate to be welcomed by them. Mrs Bennet’s enthusiasm for his visit to Longbourn vastly improved when he hinted, on the morning after his arrival, that he was of a mind to take a wife and Miss Jane Bennet held especial interest for him. Mrs Bennet, seeing a solution to the gross injustice that had contributed to her nervous condition for the last fifteen years—the entailment of Longbourn away from the female line—offered not-so-subtle encouragement to Mr Collins’s burgeoning tendre.

  Of this new accord, the five Bennet daughters were perfectly unaware, but they soon would be. Mr Collins’s arrival coincided with the Meryton assembly, where he vowed to dance with each of his fair cousins. He asked Jane for the first set and Elizabeth for the second. He was a terrible dancer—awkward and solemn, apologising instead of attending, and often moving wrong without being aware of it. The moment of Elizabeth’s release from him was ecstasy.

  Grateful for the shortage of gentlemen, she took an opportunity to sit and rest her sore toes. Mr Bingley, a young man from the north who had recently leased the nearby estate called Netherfield Park, was standing nearby with his friend Mr Darcy. Like Mr Collins, the Netherfield party was being introduced to most of the neighbourhood on that very night. The gentlemen newcomers were near enough that Elizabeth happened to overhear their conversation. She liked Mr Bingley immediately but not his friend, for after having given offense to the entire room with his haughty, prideful behaviour, Mr Darcy gave particular insult to Elizabeth, declaring her not handsome enough to tempt him to dance. The gentlemen soon walked off, and Elizabeth remained with no very cordial feelings towards him. She decided to tell her father about it. Better to laugh at the ridiculous than to stew in anger.

  Later, Mr Bingley asked Elizabeth to dance, and she was delighted with his easy and open manners. After the dance ended, her dear friend, Charlotte Lucas, sought her out.

  “Is it true, Lizzy? Are Jane and Mr Collins soon to be engaged?”

  The question struck Elizabeth like a thunderbolt. “Certainly not! We met him but two days ago. Where did you hear such a fanciful rumour?”

  “From my mother, but your mother is the source. Everyone believes it is as good as settled.” Charlotte elaborated on what she had heard. “Apparently, the reason for Mr Collins's visit is to choose a bride from among you. He thinks this will somehow atone for the entail. He fancies Jane.”

  “How can Mama expect her to marry that foolish man? And to spread such gossip! I must warn Jane.” Elizabeth looked around frantically.

  Charlotte gestured behind Elizabeth. “She is there, with Mr Bingley, and I suspect he will dance the next set with her. I overheard him say that Jane is the prettiest girl here.”

  “That is not surprising as she is the prettiest here, and I heard him express similar sentiments.” An idea came to Elizabeth. “Perhaps we can use his preference to confuse my mother’s matchmaking. You must tell her what you overheard. Surely the promise of being mother to the mistress of Netherfield would be irresistible to her.”

  Charlotte looked sceptical. “With five eligible daughters, I rather suspect she would settle for nothing less than to be the mother of both the mistress of Netherfield and the mistress of Longbourn.” After a moment, she offered, “If you are certain Jane does not desire the match with Mr Collins, I shall help you interfere with your mother’s plans. I see how upset you are, dear Eliza!”

  “Of course Jane does not desire a match with Mr Collins. How could anyone desire such a match? To think of Jane married to that man unsettles me entirely.” Elizabeth shook off the disagreeable thoughts. “While we wait for Jane to finish her dance, let me entertain you with what I overheard earlier this evening.” She recounted the conversation between Mr Bingley and Mr Darcy. Having already enacted it for her father, Elizabeth added more flourish to Mr Darcy’s proud demeanour on the second telling.

  Charlotte laughed. “Lizzy, you exaggerate his mannerisms! But I do not doubt your words. Poor girl, to be only tolerable and slighted by other men! Oh look! Your father is conversing with Mr Darcy.”

  Elizabeth spied her father at the edge of the room, standing to Mr Darcy’s side. “Ah, I imagine Papa initiated the conversation. He would not be able to resist such an opportunity, and I find that I cannot resist it either. I must have some sport. In the meantime, will you not inform my mother about what Mr Bingley said? If she can see Jane dancing with him as she contemplates the implications of his words, perhaps she will rec
onsider the desirability of Mr Collins.”

  * * *

  After devising their hurried plan for intervention, Elizabeth grasped Charlotte’s hands in thanks, and they parted in opposite directions. Charlotte found Mrs Bennet standing with Mrs Philips, gossiping as usual, while Mary Bennet looked on in disapproval.

  “Good evening, Mrs Bennet, Mary, Mrs Philips. Are you enjoying the ball?”

  “Oh yes, it has been a delightful evening, has it not?” said Mrs Bennet. “Were you just speaking with Lizzy? I must hear about her dance with Mr Bingley.”

  “Elizabeth has gone to speak with Mr Bennet,” said Charlotte. “I see Jane is dancing with Mr Bingley again. He is a very agreeable fellow, do you not think?”

  “Very agreeable indeed! He should do nicely for Lizzy—or perhaps Lydia,” replied Mrs Bennet, as if already settling the matter.

  “I think he prefers his current partner. He has danced with Jane twice, and I overheard him praising her as the prettiest girl in the room.”

  “Jane is much admired,” said Mrs Bennet proudly. “But Collins was there first, and it would be the most natural thing in the world for Jane to be the mistress of Longbourn. Mr Collins is quite taken with her, to be sure.”

  “But what does Jane think? What if she prefers Mr Bingley or some other gentleman?” Charlotte knew she tread on thin ice.

  “My heavens! What would Jane think but what is best for her family? Some other gentleman? Really, Miss Lucas, you cannot expect a perfectly good eligible gentleman to be thrown away in favour of an imaginary one! No doubt other young ladies with fewer prospects would be glad of the chance at Mr Collins, but I assure you, dear Jane will do her duty!”

  Mrs Bennet’s words, intended to sting, did their job. But they also gave Charlotte a new idea to consider. At twenty-seven, she would soon be past the marriageable age. How she wished to run her own home, start a family, and no longer be a burden to her parents! If Mr Collins was the best prospect for accomplishing these goals and Jane truly had no interest in him, Charlotte resolved to bring about her own marriage. She had never been a romantic anyway.

  * * *

  Fitzwilliam Darcy was in a foul mood. He did not wish to be at a country assembly such as this. But Bingley had asked him most earnestly to attend, and so here he was. They entered the assembly room to hushed whispers and curious stares. Bingley was, as usual, all easiness and friendliness, which made him a favourite amongst the locals in a matter of minutes. He entreated Darcy to dance with the sister of his dance partner.

  “Which do you mean?” Darcy turned around, and he looked for a moment at Elizabeth Bennet till catching her eye, then withdrew his own. “She is tolerable but not handsome enough to tempt me, and I am in no humour at present to give consequence to young ladies who are slighted by other men.”

  Darcy soon came to regret those words spoken without thought. As he stood watching the dancers, Mr Bennet introduced himself and explained that his estate, Longbourn, shared a border with Netherfield Park. Mr Bennet then pointed out the various members of his family: his wife, his five daughters, and his cousin, Mr Collins. He praised his two eldest daughters, Jane and Elizabeth, but ridiculed the others, admitting his wife was a vulgar matchmaker, his three youngest daughters remarkably silly, and his cousin a prancing fool. Based on his own observations throughout the night, Darcy could not disagree, but he found the source rather strange.

  Miss Elizabeth soon joined the two men. Darcy was struck by the beautiful expression in her dark eyes as she looked upon her father.

  “Elizabeth, my dear, have you met Mr Darcy?”

  “No, Papa, I have not yet had that pleasure. I have been dancing, you know.”

  The introductions were made. Darcy prepared for the usual flattery and insincerity directed at him by young ladies. Refreshingly, there was no flattery, but he had the distinct impression that he was the object of a joke between Mr Bennet and his daughter.

  “Mr Darcy and I were discussing our shared dislike of dancing,” the former said.

  Miss Elizabeth laughed. “How unfortunate you should find yourselves at a ball. I rather wonder why you have come at all.” Her gaze issued a challenge.

  Darcy felt he must answer it. “Mr Bingley was eager to introduce himself and his guests to the neighbourhood. I could hardly refuse.”

  “Lizzy, you know why I felt obliged to come.” Mr Bennet motioned towards Mr Collins dancing with an unhappy girl—Lydia Bennet, if Darcy remembered correctly. “It is well known that I prefer to be an observer rather than a participant, and tonight I have much to observe. Of course, as an old man of little interest to the ladies, my disinclination to dance is far less noteworthy than Mr Darcy’s.”

  “Indeed, I have noted more than one young lady sitting down for want of a partner, and some of them are quite tolerable.” Miss Elizabeth smiled.

  Darcy almost winced, considering how to extract himself from the situation. If the father and daughter would merely confront him indignantly for the insult, at least he could apologise. But their indirect teasing left him quite at a loss. Mr Darcy was not teased often, and he apologised even less often.

  Miss Elizabeth ended the awkward pause by observing warmly, “Mr Bingley has won the good opinion of the neighbourhood with his eagerness to dance. We are simple people, Mr Darcy, and your friend’s efforts at amiability will long endear him to us.”

  Darcy felt the unspoken comparison to himself. “Mr Bingley possesses that talent of conversing easily with strangers. He is well liked wherever he goes, but I find him rather too willing to befriend everyone and anyone.”

  “You are quite right to be discerning,” said Mr Bennet. “Having a surfeit of friends is a burden on one’s time. Why, if not for my peace-making cousin’s visit, I would be passing a calm evening in my library, free from the bothersome demands of being sociable.”

  Coughing quietly, Miss Elizabeth turned away to observe the line of dancers. Rather than respond to Mr Bennet’s singular way of expressing himself, Darcy followed her gaze and noticed Bingley happily dancing with the eldest Miss Bennet for the second time that night. Darcy frowned, remembering Miss Bingley had said Jane Bennet was soon to be betrothed. Once again, he would have to protect Bingley from his weakness for a pretty face.

  Elizabeth made her excuses as the dance came near its end. “Papa, I must speak with Jane. Excuse me, Mr Darcy.” She curtseyed and walked off.

  * * *

  The Reverend William Collins was delighted with his visit to Hertfordshire thus far. Lady Catherine had told him he should resolve the family quarrel, and as always, she had been correct. His reception by the Bennets and all the important people of Meryton had been quite satisfying.

  Upon meeting the Bennet daughters, he found them even more handsome and amiable than they had been represented by common report, and he determined that he would follow Lady Catherine’s further advice to seek a wife among them. Miss Jane Bennet, the eldest and most beautiful of her sisters, was all he required in a wife. From the first evening, she was his settled choice. The next morning, in a tête-à-tête with Mrs Bennet, he expressed his hopes and intentions. She could not have been more encouraging.

  Miss Bennet had received his attentions with modesty and decorum, just as he would expect from the companion of his future life. How pleased Lady Catherine would be with her!

  Tonight at the assembly, he danced with each of his five cousins. Though he could have eschewed the pleasure of dancing with Miss Lydia in particular, he did not wish any of the girls to feel slighted. He found her and Miss Catherine too silly and loud and altogether too prone to giggling. But such were the ways of young females. Miss Mary was quite accomplished and insightful but rather more plain than her sisters and a reluctant dancer. The two eldest Bennets, however, were agreeable, beautiful, and delightful dance partners.

  As Mr Collins escorted Cousin Lydia from the dance floor, he searched for Miss Bennet. He planned to dance with her a second time, thus conveying to all ass
embled his intention to make her his wife. As luck would have it, she was being escorted from the dance floor by a fair-haired gentleman.

  “How well you dance, Mr Collins!” exclaimed Mrs Bennet. “What a fine thing for my girls to each have the honour of such a partner.”

  “You flatter me, Mrs Bennet, for the honour has been mine. Indeed, I do not believe I have ever had the pleasure of so fine a set of partners. What excellent timing for my visit to coincide with this most pleasing social event. Lady Catherine de Bourgh wisely insisted I come to Hertfordshire just after Michaelmas. I do not hesitate to assume she would greatly approve of my dancing with each of my cousins at least once. Indeed, Lady Catherine would call it my duty. And I daresay neither I nor—I flatter myself—any of my fair cousins would be averse to a repeat of the now-fulfilled duty.”

  Just as he was about to transition this excellent speech into a request for Cousin Jane’s next dance, Miss Elizabeth interrupted. “Mr Collins, have you met Mr Bingley? He has leased the estate bordering Longbourn and is as new to Hertfordshire society, as you are. Mr Bingley, this is my cousin, Mr Collins, parson at Hunsford in Kent.”

  Mr Collins expressed his delight to make the acquaintance of so many illustrious people.

  “It is a pleasure to meet you,” said Mr Bingley with a smile. “Pardon me, but you mentioned Lady Catherine de Bourgh of Kent. I believe that she is Darcy’s aunt. It is a small world, is it not?”